in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
