I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize