Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
