You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
