you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
