I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
