We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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