We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
