I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
try to milk me bitch
Randomize