so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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