NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
