Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
How does one acquire holy water?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
