My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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