I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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