Joe is yelling at the trees again.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
