Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize