Where is the hickey?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
