Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
