I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
