I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
