dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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