Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
