and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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