I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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