If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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