if you like me you must not know who I am
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
