I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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