Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
