So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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