Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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