Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
