Yo dont text me then not text me
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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