Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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