Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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