I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
