The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
