Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
