I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
