saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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