it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
