Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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