Non-Jews are for practice
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
