Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
