i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
