I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
