Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
