Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I DEMAND FORESKIN
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
