Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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