eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Send help, water and tortillas.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
