Buhtt sex?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
