i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
