One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
