Pappa wants mamma naked
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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