Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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