I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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