I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don't want my vagina anymore.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
