Can Purell be used as lube?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
