I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
